Being A Pastor Forces You To Lie

Sometimes my job makes me feel like Pinocchio. I was reminded of this recently. You'd think that being a pastor would be one of the most honest jobs around. And in many ways it is. You get to speak the truth every Sunday from the pulpit. You get to counsel people through tough times, often by helping them make peace with something that's true.

"The truth will set you free." Except when it doesn't.

Sometimes the truth hurts people and you just have to let it go.
Sometimes the truth spoken at the wrong time does more damage than good.
Sometimes the truth dished out for the wrong reasons can be like a sledgehammer.

Some people enjoy using it in that way. And they justify themselves with "hey, it's true." I think that's a cheap excuse to take the easy road, damage another person's soul and then move on without taking responsibility.

As a pastor, people tell you stuff in confidence or they let you into some sensitive areas of their lives (or sometimes you just bull your way in for their own good). Sometimes they regret that (or resent it) and later lash out at you in ways that are completely unrelated. "Why would he say that about you pastor?" People ask. And I routinely lie. "I don't know."

A buddy of mine was called to the home of one of his members. The wife wanted a third party witness to see her husband when he was high on drugs. Nobody would believe it. He was a respected person in the church. A leader. My friend went. Sat with the couple. Counseled them. Prayed with them. And also laid down the law ... the drug abuse has to stop. It's ruining the family. It's not fair to the kids or to your wife. Stop it. That night everyone prayed. My friend went home.

Two weeks later he heard through the grapevine that he was being accused of "not caring" about the members of his congregation. "Where's the rumor coming from? Oh. I know what triggered that. He's mad because I told him to stop using drugs or lose his family." This is just a truth we cannot tell.