How to learn to pray

A newcomer at church recently sent me an email asking how to pray. Specifically... 1. How can I pray in the right way? And 2. What is the real meaning of prayer?

I think these are both great questions so I'm going to share part of what I wrote back.

It's wonderful that you have so many questions. And they are great questions. Regarding prayer... a couple of things come to mind.

First - you can't really do it wrong. Christian prayer is not like magic where you have to get words and phrases just right otherwise it doesn't work. We have a God who loves us dearly and prayer is about relating to Him and being friends.

Second - practically speaking then the thing to do is figure out for yourself how to engage in regular conversation with God. Here are some things that help me...

* I try to intentionally pray at regular times. I pray in the mornings before starting the day and I pray in the evenings before going to sleep. This doesn't work for everyone, but it does work for me. It doesn't mean I don't pray throughout the day. I do. But it is a reminder to pray in a concentrated way without distraction. Most people (not all) are better if they have some sort of regular schedule.

* Sometimes I use a "formula" to help me pray. I start with Praising God. I move to Repenting of my sins. I Ask for stuff (for others first and then for myself). And finally I focus on Yielding to what God has to say. I listen. I like this one because it's easy to remember P is for praise, R is for repent. A is for asking. And Y is for yield. That spells PRAY. There is another one based on ACTS.

* Another "formula" which has helped me is to pray the Lord's Prayer (find it in Matthew 6). But don't just repeat it. Pray it. Look at each line and elaborate. So I start out with "My Father who is in heaven" and I thank God for being my heavenly father. I think about and pray about what that means... and so on.

The real meaning of prayer is relationship.

I hope this helps someone out there.