10 Questions very few people are asking this Easter

A megachurch pastor from my hometown did a blog post called "10 Questions Unchurched people are NOT asking". I've got a better list. "10 Questions NOBODY is asking"...

Perry's list included stuff like..

#1 – “What do you do to disciple people?”  (This question is usually asked by people who want to ‘microwave” spiritually, not understand that they themselves actually became mature in the “crock pot.”)

#2 – “Who is speaking this weekend?”  (They usually don’t care about the WHO…it’s the WHAT that matters to them.)

#3 – “Are you reformed in your theology?”  (Most of them have no idea what in the heck this means!)

#4 – “Is your church spirit filled?”

#5 – “What version of the Bible do you use?”  (Many unchurched people don’t even really know there are different versions!)

#6 – “What denomination are you affiliated with?”

#7 – “How many different activities can I sign my family up for in order to add to the insane schedule that we already have?”

#8 – “Does your pastor teach exegetically through the Scriptures?”

#9 – “Are there lots of crosses and pictures of Jesus in your church?”

#10 – “Are you guys pre trib, mid trib, post trib or partial trib?”

 Here's my list.

#1. What colors do Christians associate with the Easter season and why?
#2. Can you teach me to use old English "thee" and "thou" properly?
#3. Why is the pastor not wearing a robe/suit?
#4. Do you have cool videos?
#5. Can your choir pull off the Alleluia Chorus?
#6. What's the Greek word for "resurrection"?
#7. Was Jesus a space alien? (Saw it on a church blog post. Seriously!)
#8. Can I get fries with that communion waffer?
#9. Please do an Easter Cantata? (Most people don't know what a cantata is. I'm not sure I do either.)
#10. Can you please tell me Jesus died for my sins ask for a huge commitment and don't give any practical reasons why this might be significant?