Sometimes one bad experience changes everything
Today I went to get a haircut. I was tired having spent the last two days pedaling an old Chinese style bicycle around Sukhothai. I'd been sleeping on a bed described as "like a rock" by my 6 year old son. I'd been up late the night before waiting for the locksmith to let me into my bedroom that the same 6 year old son locked us out of because he wanted to avoid taking a bath. I was tired, but I needed a haircut and I decided I would try to squeeze it in.
So I walked a kilometer, took a motorbike a kilometer, and walked another 15 minutes in the hot, humid heat. I arrived at the same place I've gotten my haircut for the last 5 years. Walked in. And was turned away with "sorry, the hairdresser is out sick."
There is nothing wrong with that. Everyone gets sick occasionally. And being turned away once in awhile is just the price you pay for going to a haircut place with only one person who cuts hair. You get personal service, but there is no back up. So I don't hold this against the shop. Except that I had a bad experience yesterday.
They suggested I come back tomorrow. And I said I would. Then I walked out the door, down the street and into another barber. The second barber was not better than my regular barber. In fact, he wasn't as good. But he was available and got my business. And a month from now, when I need another haircut, I don't know where I'll go. Do I risk another bad experience? If asked, I wouldn't say anything bad about my barber, I just don't know if I'll be back.
I think sometimes churches are like my barber. Our service is inconsistent. Sometimes newcomers show up and no one talks to them, or the music is off, or the guest preacher doesn't connect, or the regular preacher has an off day. It's understandable. But one or two sub par experiences and what happens? They don't return.
They aren't angry, just disappointed. They came looking for something. And it wasn't there. And the difference between someone who walks out of a church with a bad experience and someone who walks out of a barber, is that the person walking out of the church is just as likely to give up on church altogether as they are walk into another one down the street. They'll find their spirituality elsewhere.
The point is NOT that churches have to be perfect. That the choir has to hit every note or that the preacher has to hit a home run every Sunday. The point is that we've got to get a hit. Some people must be friendly. The music must not be a disaster. The sermon must have substance even if occasionally it doesn't have flare.
I'm always amazed at how often we are willing to say, "Sorry, our "A" game is out today. Come back next week and we promise it'll be better." First time guests rarely do.
So I walked a kilometer, took a motorbike a kilometer, and walked another 15 minutes in the hot, humid heat. I arrived at the same place I've gotten my haircut for the last 5 years. Walked in. And was turned away with "sorry, the hairdresser is out sick."
There is nothing wrong with that. Everyone gets sick occasionally. And being turned away once in awhile is just the price you pay for going to a haircut place with only one person who cuts hair. You get personal service, but there is no back up. So I don't hold this against the shop. Except that I had a bad experience yesterday.
They suggested I come back tomorrow. And I said I would. Then I walked out the door, down the street and into another barber. The second barber was not better than my regular barber. In fact, he wasn't as good. But he was available and got my business. And a month from now, when I need another haircut, I don't know where I'll go. Do I risk another bad experience? If asked, I wouldn't say anything bad about my barber, I just don't know if I'll be back.
I think sometimes churches are like my barber. Our service is inconsistent. Sometimes newcomers show up and no one talks to them, or the music is off, or the guest preacher doesn't connect, or the regular preacher has an off day. It's understandable. But one or two sub par experiences and what happens? They don't return.
They aren't angry, just disappointed. They came looking for something. And it wasn't there. And the difference between someone who walks out of a church with a bad experience and someone who walks out of a barber, is that the person walking out of the church is just as likely to give up on church altogether as they are walk into another one down the street. They'll find their spirituality elsewhere.
The point is NOT that churches have to be perfect. That the choir has to hit every note or that the preacher has to hit a home run every Sunday. The point is that we've got to get a hit. Some people must be friendly. The music must not be a disaster. The sermon must have substance even if occasionally it doesn't have flare.
I'm always amazed at how often we are willing to say, "Sorry, our "A" game is out today. Come back next week and we promise it'll be better." First time guests rarely do.
