Were William and Kate "living in sin" Before Yesterday's Ceremony
When I was a kid, if two people of the opposite sex (who were not related) lived together and weren't married we said, "They are living in sin." It was a shorthand way of disapproving of their decision to live together (and presumably sleep together) before marriage.
I remember in college, the Baptist Student Union was set aflame one year when the student Secretary elect showed up for school and decided to share an apartment with his recently graduated girlfriend. My roommate at the time, who was trying to be open-minded, visited the couple's apartment with me. On the drive back to our place, he whispered, "there was only one bedroom." The idea was that he could have made peace with them living together as long as they weren't having sex.
Not surprisingly, Prince William and his bride of yesterday Kate Middleton, decided to live together before becoming married. Many modern couples do that. There was a time when it was controversial and if you did it, you had to be a bit secretive or apologetic. No more. Even people who frown upon it would have to concede that it's not unusual.
What was unusual was a church official endorsing it. The Telegraph published an article quoting Archbishop of York, Dr. John Sentamu, endorsing the couple's decision.
Or did he? The Telegraph reports that Dr. Sentamu noted that his daughter said it was not uncommon. The Archbishop said that he has conducted numerous weddings in which the couple lived together prior to marriage. The Archbishop also said that what the couple does moving forward is more important than what they've done in the past.
I agree with all these points. But I wouldn't endorse people living together before marriage. I think it's a bad idea. I think it will make them LESS likely to stay married for the longterm. I think it somehow cheapens the marriage commitment. And I believe that it dishonors God.
I don't think it dooms them to eternal torment or that it's reprehensible.
I know that lots (if not most people) go ahead and do it. Some claim it's for financial reasons. I don't believe that. I know it's cheaper to live together, but I've rarely met a couple doing it because they can't afford not to. Funny how people that can't afford to live separately can afford wedding ceremonies at posh hotels and provide open bars to their family and friends for the reception. ^-^
What I find disheartening is the inability of the press (and possibly the general population) to hold together the possibility of disapproving of a moral choice while at the same time loving and supporting a young couple starting out a new life together.
Is it not possible to be supportive of someone while at the same time thinking they've made bad moral choices? It is. And we should be able to do just that.
I think the Archbishop was right. Lots of people DO live together before marriage today. And the future IS more important than the past.
It seems the only options the press sees are either to be completely accepting of any and all moral choices people make, or be judgmental and small minded.
These are not the only choices. We can hold up Christian ideals while at the same time acknowledging that we ALL fall short of the ideals and God loves us still. That's what grace is for.
I remember in college, the Baptist Student Union was set aflame one year when the student Secretary elect showed up for school and decided to share an apartment with his recently graduated girlfriend. My roommate at the time, who was trying to be open-minded, visited the couple's apartment with me. On the drive back to our place, he whispered, "there was only one bedroom." The idea was that he could have made peace with them living together as long as they weren't having sex.
Not surprisingly, Prince William and his bride of yesterday Kate Middleton, decided to live together before becoming married. Many modern couples do that. There was a time when it was controversial and if you did it, you had to be a bit secretive or apologetic. No more. Even people who frown upon it would have to concede that it's not unusual.
What was unusual was a church official endorsing it. The Telegraph published an article quoting Archbishop of York, Dr. John Sentamu, endorsing the couple's decision.
Or did he? The Telegraph reports that Dr. Sentamu noted that his daughter said it was not uncommon. The Archbishop said that he has conducted numerous weddings in which the couple lived together prior to marriage. The Archbishop also said that what the couple does moving forward is more important than what they've done in the past.
I agree with all these points. But I wouldn't endorse people living together before marriage. I think it's a bad idea. I think it will make them LESS likely to stay married for the longterm. I think it somehow cheapens the marriage commitment. And I believe that it dishonors God.
I don't think it dooms them to eternal torment or that it's reprehensible.
I know that lots (if not most people) go ahead and do it. Some claim it's for financial reasons. I don't believe that. I know it's cheaper to live together, but I've rarely met a couple doing it because they can't afford not to. Funny how people that can't afford to live separately can afford wedding ceremonies at posh hotels and provide open bars to their family and friends for the reception. ^-^
What I find disheartening is the inability of the press (and possibly the general population) to hold together the possibility of disapproving of a moral choice while at the same time loving and supporting a young couple starting out a new life together.
Is it not possible to be supportive of someone while at the same time thinking they've made bad moral choices? It is. And we should be able to do just that.
I think the Archbishop was right. Lots of people DO live together before marriage today. And the future IS more important than the past.
It seems the only options the press sees are either to be completely accepting of any and all moral choices people make, or be judgmental and small minded.
These are not the only choices. We can hold up Christian ideals while at the same time acknowledging that we ALL fall short of the ideals and God loves us still. That's what grace is for.
