Do I Really Need More...
I'm committed to being a little more honest and straightforward here than I can be in a sermon. So bear with me. Not all the views expressed are necessarily those of the author...especially if pressed into a corner. :)
I'm preaching this weekend about contentment and it's killing me. I hate it when God does that.
Using Paul as an example from Philippians 4:11-13, where he talks about being content in whatever the situation he finds himself in. I know he doesn't mean "accept" ... as in don't do anything about an unjust situation. But he is talking about not always wanting what we don't have.
As I was working on the sermon I thought of all these powerful questions. Do you ever find yourself wanting stuff you don't need? Do you ever 'discover' that you have to have something only after seeing your friend has one? These kinds of questions...strategically designed to help others recognize their sin. :) Except that I answer 'yes'. And right now in a big way.
See we have our Annual Meeting Sunday. I've mentiond this beforee and my fear of Annual Church Meetings. One thing that will happen on Sunday is the budget will be voted on. When I took this position, I accepted a huge pay cut. My salary cut in half from my previous church. I was kind of proud of that. I took it as a sign of spiritual maturity. Of course, being proud of it shows a lack of maturity... but that's not my point. I was okay with the paycut.
I reasoned that this was a little like a mission opportunity. I reasoned that the cost of living in Bangkok would be lower. I reasoned that it was enough for my family to live on. All these things are true...sort of. So why is my low salary bugging me now?
(1) Because I am learning what others make. Teachers at the International Schools with less education, experience and years of service make twice what I do.
(2) Because people in my church go out of town every weekend to luxurious resorts that I can't afford.
(3) Because people ask me, "Oh, have you tried such and such restaurant?" And I haven't because it's out of my price range.
But the kicker was recently when someone was talking about a great weekend get away with my wife. She indicated that it was probably too expensive for us. That person said, "Oh, you don't have to pay. You just agree to listen to their sales pitch for an hour. Then the weekend is on them." Laura mentioned that usually there are income requirements for those kinds of deals. And the lady said, "Yeah, but it's really low" and proceeded to name an amount roughly twice my annual salary.
On the one hand - I don't need more. I'm happy. I have a great life. I get to see my kids a lot. The church doesn't pay for office space. It's in my house. On the other hand, sometimes I get tired of having my office next to my bedroom.
All the reasons I was happy to take the paycut are still true. And yet, it still frustrates me to see the huge income disparity between myself and the majority of my congregation while knowing that I'm the forth largest financial contributor.
God is going to have to help me get over this frustration. Right now it comes and goes. Sometimes it doesn't bother me at all. Other times it makes me sick. I'm guessing I'm not the only pastor out there who struggles with this. I don't feel a call to poverty, but I do feel a call to simplicity. Frankly, I could live on less and would be happy to in a church with less financial resources.
I'm preaching this weekend about contentment and it's killing me. I hate it when God does that.
Using Paul as an example from Philippians 4:11-13, where he talks about being content in whatever the situation he finds himself in. I know he doesn't mean "accept" ... as in don't do anything about an unjust situation. But he is talking about not always wanting what we don't have.
As I was working on the sermon I thought of all these powerful questions. Do you ever find yourself wanting stuff you don't need? Do you ever 'discover' that you have to have something only after seeing your friend has one? These kinds of questions...strategically designed to help others recognize their sin. :) Except that I answer 'yes'. And right now in a big way.
See we have our Annual Meeting Sunday. I've mentiond this beforee and my fear of Annual Church Meetings. One thing that will happen on Sunday is the budget will be voted on. When I took this position, I accepted a huge pay cut. My salary cut in half from my previous church. I was kind of proud of that. I took it as a sign of spiritual maturity. Of course, being proud of it shows a lack of maturity... but that's not my point. I was okay with the paycut.
I reasoned that this was a little like a mission opportunity. I reasoned that the cost of living in Bangkok would be lower. I reasoned that it was enough for my family to live on. All these things are true...sort of. So why is my low salary bugging me now?
(1) Because I am learning what others make. Teachers at the International Schools with less education, experience and years of service make twice what I do.
(2) Because people in my church go out of town every weekend to luxurious resorts that I can't afford.
(3) Because people ask me, "Oh, have you tried such and such restaurant?" And I haven't because it's out of my price range.
But the kicker was recently when someone was talking about a great weekend get away with my wife. She indicated that it was probably too expensive for us. That person said, "Oh, you don't have to pay. You just agree to listen to their sales pitch for an hour. Then the weekend is on them." Laura mentioned that usually there are income requirements for those kinds of deals. And the lady said, "Yeah, but it's really low" and proceeded to name an amount roughly twice my annual salary.
On the one hand - I don't need more. I'm happy. I have a great life. I get to see my kids a lot. The church doesn't pay for office space. It's in my house. On the other hand, sometimes I get tired of having my office next to my bedroom.
All the reasons I was happy to take the paycut are still true. And yet, it still frustrates me to see the huge income disparity between myself and the majority of my congregation while knowing that I'm the forth largest financial contributor.
God is going to have to help me get over this frustration. Right now it comes and goes. Sometimes it doesn't bother me at all. Other times it makes me sick. I'm guessing I'm not the only pastor out there who struggles with this. I don't feel a call to poverty, but I do feel a call to simplicity. Frankly, I could live on less and would be happy to in a church with less financial resources.
